127 hours

I don’t know if you’ve seen this movie, 127 hours. Here’s a trailer if you’ve not

 

I watched this movie just to pass sometime and I thought nothing of it. I thought it was another hyped up movie that would provide a couple of hours of escape.

How wrong I was.

This movie seems to look deep down in my soul and show me what it was like to be me. It resonated so much with me it took me days to get over the emotional turmoil I found myself thrown into.

How many times had I fallen into situations and found myself trapped? Trapped with no way out, slowly loosing my mind and who I am? Trapped to the point that I had to cut off a metaphorical limb to escape the situation. A small sacrifice to save myself. I apologise if I’ve said this before, but if my mind was a physical being, I would be without limbs, have deep scars (much deeper than the self harm ones) and look disfigured.

Like him in the movie, at my lowest point, at the point where I was going to give up, I had a little fighting voice telling me one day I would have kids and not to give up.

Don’t give up. Like him, I’m now living my life to best of my ability with my disabilities. And if I find myself slipping into a situation I feel I will get trapped, I turn around and run. There is no more of me I am willing to sacrifice and I refuse to get trapped again.

Hold onto that hope.

If my ming were a body
I would have no limbs and be so disfigured
I look fine but I am in so much pain
So lost, so alone, my head, so injured
Silent screams from my bed
Silent screams in my head

Jessy
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