For many years now I’ve wanted to keep a personal journal as there is so much in my head I need to get it out. Recently I’ve had some very special people come into my life that have given me the confidence to be true to myself and encouraged me to start writing again.
I was thinking I would write anonymously at first giving me the freedom to talk about everyone and everything in my life but I had second thoughts on that idea. Let me explain why…
I’m a photographer and suffer from depression. I’m also trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life (what I want to do when I grow up!). I think I can safely add that I suffer from very low self-esteem, low confidence and probably a whole load more stuff that I’m not willing to acknowledge let alone accept.
Anyway, this year I started my own business as a photographer which is another story but for now I want to talk about a project called Unmasked (blog and Facebook page) which has been a real eye opener for me in seeing what others live with and personally.
For many years now I put on a ‘mask’ every morning to show the world I’m happy and doing so wonderful. Some of the time I am. What I hadn’t realised, in masking my feelings to everyone else, I started hiding a lot from myself. I started to push emotions down and not acknowledge things to myself. This has now become a very bad habit which I feel I must change to improve my life, myself and to put me in a position to help others. The decision to not write anonymously was because I would still be hiding behind a mask.
So, long story short, this blog will be about my journey to free me from myself. I will try to write regularly, will try to be as open as honest as I can and I hope you will join me on my journey. Please be kind because this is me laid bare and vulnerable. I don’t know where any of this will take me which is quite exciting and scary.
Here’s to taking the first step on this adventure!